Hapless Nisar betrayed by ‘Koofa-ites’ fights

The News 20 Sept 2013 ISLAMABAD: Embarrassed is the word for what Chaudhry Nisar must have felt when caught off guard about the sorry state of affairs in his party. It was awkward because, as the PML (N) parliamentary leader, he should have known what every pen-pusher in the Press Gallery knew: the party cares two hoots about defending, well, the party. He almost accused the Speaker chosen by his own party of partiality in letting one opposition speaker after another blast the government. “How can you do this,” a visibly irritated Nisar protested after listening to MQM and PTI speakers rip apart the government, particularly about Karachi. “This is unfair.” He reminded the Speaker that when “you and I” were in the opposition the rule was to allow two government speakers for one in the opposition. “But I see that you have not given chance to a single member from the treasury,” he almost reprimanded the Speaker. He was probably quietly told that it was not the Speaker’s fault as nobody from his party had volunteered to defend the government.Many government backbenchers were actually seen backing the opposition members, noticeably from the Saraiki belt, by thumping the desks. This was probably a first for old-timers to see a government losing its gusto in just three months. Even Nisar seemed surprised and looked back towards his comrades with a scathing ‘what-are-you-guys-up-to’ look. The arrow from the Kameengah, as goes the famous Urdu couplet, came from nobody else but ‘friends.’ At least he was honest enough to apologise and then promised to take up the matter in the Cabinet. We could tell Nisar a few reasons for this lack of camaraderie in the PML (N) ranks. We were actually surprised that Nisar, a veteran of record eight Assemblies, was surprised. Come on Einstein, it’s not a party. What did he expect from this stable of ‘eligibles’ that the PML (N) gathered only recently? A big chunk of them is from the PPP. The other half forms that motley crowd of turncoats named as PML (Q) by the dictator who languishes in the seven-star jail in Chak Shehzad. Why do you think Pervaiz Elahi does not come to the National Assembly at all? He would rather enjoy life in Spain or Britain than to have his blood boil seeing the people who got billions from him sitting on the opposite aisle. Old habits die hard for this power-hungry lot. They want ministries, flag cars, police escorts, arms licences, exemptions, quotas and jobs that they want to sell to recover the huge amounts that they spent on the election - something that the Election Commission overlooked so conveniently. The federal government gave them some bones in the shape of development funds. The Punjab government too obliged them by letting them have SHOs of their choice to keep ‘order’ - all in the name of ending the so-called ‘thana-katchehri’ culture. This makes sure that the PTI will, Alhamdulillah, remain out of Punjab for decades. But these “worshippers of the rising sun,” to quote Mahmood Achakzai, want much more and will not defend the government until the PML (N) goes back to its old ways. Remember Nisar and Company invented this style of politics circa 1985. So the hapless Nisar, betrayed by Koofa-ites, took it upon himself to defend, well, himself. And he did a good job presenting a mixed bag of ‘goods and bads.’ He deserved credit for at least trying to clear the Karachi mess under trying conditions, particularly when there is a different government in Sindh. Yet, he claimed, Rangers had accomplished 400 targeted operations against heinous crimes and the police 1000 against street crimes. The death toll had come down from between 12 and 15 to two or three people daily. It was a relief to listen that “the criminals are running away from Karachi” as their tentacles were traced as far as Murree and Waziristan. “Trust me, we have a plan,” he said explaining the phased operation that will culminate in the mopping up of the criminals. He admitted that the dialogue offer to Taliban got jolted by the attack that killed Major General Niazi and others but warned those who were suggesting ceasefire. “We know what we are doing,” he pleaded in earnest. We just hope he was right. At the end of the day it is the executive that has to take the decision and deliver with or without consensus. It would have been a little comforting if we could have a little glimpse of the government road map. Or just an indication whether government will continue talking or go for the operation at some stage or have a more nuanced mix-and-match approach.After all, the government also needs to share and perhaps take into account the Parliament, the media and - lest we forget - the public. So far, we are all in the dark as everything got decided behind closed doors, much to our chagrin. It’s time to open the lid and, to quote one and only Munnu Bhai’s famous poem, “make us a witness in our own case.” And soon. Finally, somebody needs to share Nisar’s burden, particularly his best pal from Lahore.